


replacing who I am (with who I'd rather be)

by cherryraindrops



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Arrow AU, M/M, basically I wanted to write Ashton as a hero
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-03
Updated: 2015-09-03
Packaged: 2018-04-18 19:17:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4717448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherryraindrops/pseuds/cherryraindrops
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ashton knows that he’s a new person, different from the playboy he was before the wreck. He knows how much he’s changed since coming home, but he truly believes that the changes have made him better. </p><p>And maybe, Luke can make him the man he’s always wanted to be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	replacing who I am (with who I'd rather be)

**Author's Note:**

> So I've spent the past two days watching a good majority of the first season of 'Arrow', and wanted to write an AU where Ashton was Oliver Queen. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this :)
> 
> Title shamelessly taken from 'Over and Out' by 5 Seconds of Summer

Coming home was something Ashton had been praying for since the wreck. He remembers the ocean water splashing at him, cold and menacing as the storm raged on around him, swaying the life boat violently. His father was beside him, trying to hold him back as Ashton screamed into the dark night towards the wreckage, towards the one person he promised he would protect.

Those visions danced around in his mind every single night since. He’d lie awake in the life boat, watching the stars sparkle above him as violent memories flash through his mind of how he couldn’t save them, no matter what he did. All he can hear were screams, cries of his name as they slipped away into the violent waves.

While coming home certainly didn’t take away the nightmares, it helped to be surrounded by the ones he loved. He didn’t have anyone those five years he was a castaway, left to succumb to his own inner demons as he fought to survive five years on some island he had eventually come across. There, he trained to fight, survive, adapt. It was rough, five years without any companionship, five years wondering if his family still remembered him. So when he caught sight of a fishing boat near the island, he made damn sure he was going to be joining them on their voyage back.

Coming home was filled with questions, everyone wondering how on Earth Ashton Irwin, son of multi millionaire Spencer Irwin, managed to survive on his own on a remote island. The only answers Ashton would give them were that it was pure luck, that he was just grateful to be reunited with his family once more and that his time on the island gave him time to reflect on the person he had been.

It had, that was the truth. Ashton was considered a lot of things before his yacht was demolished and he was declared dead. He was a dick, a millionaire playboy who had no sympathy for anyone and treated even his family like complete dirt. If the island had taught him anything, it taught him how he shouldn’t take such things for granted.

Being reunited with his family after five years alone? Possibly one of the best feelings in the world.

There was a part of him though, a part of him he could never share with his family, and especially not with the rest of the world. It was a part of him that had been molded and formed on the island, a part of him that was awakened the moment his father turned to him on the lifeboat and told him that Ashton was to cleanse their city, right before shooting himself in the head.

It was a part of Ashton that had formed when he realized that his seemingly perfect life wasn’t as perfect as it had been displayed to be.

His father had told him he was meant to cleanse their city, fix all the wrongs their family had created and fight the ones who had created the mess it had become. He saw potential, something in Ashton that even Ashton himself had yet to see in himself. Spencer had faith in him, trusted him with the duty of protecting an entire city from all the evil is was being poisoned with.

Coming home meant fulfilling his father’s dying wish, but with how things were going at that exact moment, he wasn’t sure this was what his father had in mind.

His bow was held tightly in his grasp, his fingers playing with the bundle of arrows resting in his pack. He wore a green hood over his head, his eyes painted with an identical green color to hide his identity underneath. He was currently crouched on the roof of his own building, the one where all of his operations took place, trying to fend off yet another threat to his city.

He didn’t expect a gunshot to ring out, sending him tumbling off of the roof and into a large pile of garbage that had been set aside. He wants to scream at the pain shooting through him from the bullet wound, but he knows more than anything that he needs to get out of here before the threat finds him. Once he’s diverted their attention, then he can scream.

He least expects it when, on his way towards his hidden lair of sorts, to run into his best friend.

“Oh my god,” Luke mutters, holding a hand up to his open mouth. He’s dressed professionally, Ashton suspecting he just left the IT desk at Irwin Corp, where Ashton’s mother had employed him following Ashton’s ‘death’. He’s holding his jacket in his hands, but it drops to the ground as he scrambles forward to catch Ashton as he nearly collapses to the ground. “Fuck, never thought I’d actually see the vigilante in the flesh. Then again, I guess it’s not the best circumstances considering you are quite possibly dying.”

Ashton wants to open his mouth, beg Luke to get him down to his lair, but he’s also torn between getting help and revealing his identity to his long time best friend, his confidante, and not to mention the man he’s been in love with for nearly seven years now. He can’t bring Luke into this, can’t risk another person’s life with his identity.

It doesn’t seem he has much of a choice though, when Luke carefully removes his hood and gasps at the sight before him. “A-Ashton?”

If Ashton wasn’t in excruciating pain right now, he’d probably crack a joke. Lighten the mood with some of his Irwin humor. Now wasn’t the time though.

All he can mutter out is a ‘help me’ before his world turns black and he falls completely still in his best friend’s arms.

*

_When Ashton came home, he knew there were a lot of things that had changed in his absence. He knew his family wasn’t the same as it had been before, knew their company had changed drastically in his absence. He thought he knew what to expect when he came back, to patch his family back together and apologize for the wrongs he’d committed from before._

_So it was to be expected when the first time he saw Calum Hood since his absence, the boy had some quite cruel words to say._

_It was meant to be an apology to begin with, showing up at Calum’s apartment door and fix what had happened between them before Ashton left. He now understood the mistakes he had made and had wanted to atone to them._

_He knew he deserved the slap in the face Calum gave him, but it was still pretty unexpected._

_“What the fuck are you doing here?” Calum snapped at him while Ashton held the cheek Calum’s hand came in contact with. “You think you could just come to my apartment and apologize didn’t you? You thought I would have forgotten all about what you did, what happened before the wreck? Guess what Ashton, I didn’t. I wish I had but it’s kind of hard to forget about the fact that you cheated on me with my sister.”_

_Ashton does feel horrible about it. He knows damn well that there is nothing he can do to make up for the fact that he ruined Calum, ruined Calum’s family. “I know I can’t say sorry enough to make up for that. I know damn well that no matter what I say isn’t going to make you forgive me, because I can’t forgive myself. I don’t deserve your forgiveness, I probably never will. What I did to you was horrible and I will never, ever, be able to make it up to you.”_

_“Damn right you won’t,” Calum hissed at him. “Because of you, my sister is dead. All because you couldn’t fucking love me right, you had to go and screw my sister on that fancy yacht of yours, only to have it wreck and kill my sister.” He gives Ashton a hard glare before whispering out, “I wish it was you that had died in that crash instead of her.”_

_The door slammed shut shortly after, and Ashton knew he deserved it._

*

When Ashton wakes up, he’s resting against a cot he’d set up in his lair. It’s uncomfortable, and the blanket he had draped over him in scratchy and warm. He slowly lifts his head up from the pillow and looks around the room, hissing when he puts weight on his arm.

The bullet wound has been stitched up completely, and before Ashton can get up and pull a shirt on he catches a glimpse of a person rushing up from the other end of the room. Normally he’d react with violence, a sudden attack, but when he catches sight of blue eyes and blond hair, he relaxes.

“You’re awake,” Luke says first thing, placing Ashton back down on the cot. “I guess now that you are for sure alive and I didn’t do anything wrong, I can ask you what the hell is wrong with you.” He says it lowly, angrily, and Ashton knows his best friend has every reason to be mad. After all, finding out your best friend is this vigilante the police are tracking down as a criminal is bound to piss you off.

“My father’s dying wish was for me to protect this city, cleanse it of the people that have poisoned it.”

Luke hums, taking Ashton’s hand and intertwining their fingers. His thumb rubs circles into his knuckles, a calming gesture he’s done since they were younger. “So, your father told you to put on a hood and grab a bow, shoot some bad people, and avoid the police?” He says it with a smile, and Ashton knows then that he can trust Luke with this secret, knows that Luke could be relied on.

Not that he had a doubt, anyway.

“Kind of,” Ashton turns, pulling Luke’s hands into his lap so he can play with his fingers as he speaks. “He left me a book, full of the names of people who have done wrong by abusing their power. I decided to take it upon myself to help this city by taking them out, or at least negotiating them into giving up. I’ve been told I’m pretty convincing.” He winks at his last sentence, and Luke blushes. “I need to protect the people of this city, Luke. That includes my family, Calum, Michael,” He reaches forward, brushing a fallen blond hair from Luke’s face. “You.”

Luke lets out a soft laugh, staring into Ashton’s bright hazel eyes before responding, “I’m pretty sure I can protect myself, don’t you think?”

“There is not a single doubt in my mind that you cannot,” Ashton admits, his hand reaching up and cupping Luke’s jaw. “I can’t help but try and protect you for those time you can’t though, can I?”

Another soft laugh, before Luke leans forward, resting their foreheads against one another. He’s shuffled himself into Ashton’s lap comfortably, hands holding Ashton’s face delicately in his hands. He’s breathing in soft breaths, thumbs tracing Ashton’s cheeks gently before he whispers, “Try not to get shot again, okay?”

Ashton chuckles, making Luke open his eyes. They’re close, close enough that the line between friends and more than friends has nearly blurred entirely. Ashton is a few inches away from pressing his lips against Luke’s, a few inches away from pouring every emotion out of him and into his best friend.

He wants to take the chance, but he’s not sure how, especially with how his last relationship went.

*

_There’s a soft knock at Ashton’s bedroom door, making him tear his attention away from his book and pull himself out of his bed to answer it. He’s quite surprised to find Calum at the other end of it, fist held up to knock again. “Calum,” he says formally, holding the door open to welcome his ex in. “What are you doing here?”_

_The boy swallows, folding his arms across his chest as he faces his ex. “I wanted to apologize for what I said before, about how I wish you would have died in Mali’s place? I didn’t mean that Ash, it was just something that fell out…”_

_Ashton holds his hand up, stopping Calum. “It’s alright, I deserved it. I was an asshole, I didn’t treat you the way I should have. Can I tell you something though, something I know you’ve been wanting to ask but haven’t quite worked up the courage to ask me?” He steps forward, hands on Calum’s shoulders. “Mali loved you, I loved you. We might have messed everything up those final days, but I want you to know that she loved you more than anything, okay?”_

_Calum nods, running a hand through his hair and swallowing. “She didn’t die painfully, right? She died peacefully?”_

_Ashton pushes her screams out of his head before he responds. He knows what Calum needs to hear. “She did.”_

_The words make Calum release the breath he had been holding, reaching forward and hugging Ashton tightly. “I think I’m ready to forgive you, but I’m not sure if it’s entirely yet.”_

_“Take your time Cal.”_

*

It’s Luke who makes the final move, leaning forward and pressing his lips softly to Ashton’s. It’s a rush of emotions, feelings that Ashton hasn’t felt in far too long. It’s a moment seven years in the making, and Ashton doesn’t want to waste a single moment as he places a hand behind Luke’s neck and holds him in place, kissing him back.

He let’s Luke’s hands wander around his bare torso, let’s Luke kiss his lips, cheeks, chin, jaw, anywhere his lips have access to Ashton allows. He doesn’t miss the way Luke pays special attention to the scars that scatter his body, peppering soft kisses to the puckered skin and tracing them lightly with his finger tips.

“I know you’ll never forget what happened on that island,” Luke whispers, pressing another kiss to the scar across his stomach. “But for this moment, I’m asking you, if you’ll let me try?”

Coming home meant finding himself again, finding the person he used to be and changing him into a better man. Coming home meant reinvention, and maybe along the way finding a new place, or person, to call home.

Luke was home.

So he brings Luke’s face back up to his, kissing him once again before saying, “I’d like that.”

Ashton knows that he’s a new person, different from the playboy he was before the wreck. He knows how much he’s changed since coming home, but he truly believes that the changes have made him better.

And maybe, Luke can make him the man he’s always wanted to be.


End file.
